


Lullaby

by GravityWolf



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-11-30 00:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GravityWolf/pseuds/GravityWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once there was a way to get back home<br/>Please little darling do not cry<br/>I will sing you a lullaby...<br/>Golden slumbers fill your eyes<br/>Smiles awake you when you rise<br/>Sleep pretty darling do not cry<br/>And I will sing a lullaby...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my morial Lily :3  
> With lots of love  
> Song in Summary: Golden Slumbers by The Beatles

Your name is TAVROS NITRAM and you are awake. Dawn breaks over a new day and you watch as the sky transforms from dark to light, colors shifting and fading. You fidget and look to the trees where you once used to roam as a little kid, seeking adventure with upmost enthusiasm. But that’s all changed when you died.  
It’s early, and you mean REALLY early, but yet it is the time of day you usually make your rounds across the boundaries of the forest. You do this for no reason, maybe to communicate with the animals, maybe to exercise your robotic limbs, or maybe just to feel the breath of wind on your face. You’ve gone a little further than you’re used to, but you’re willing to find more land and explore, even if it isn’t much. Life isn’t as simple as it used to be, and now isolation from others is something everyone enjoys. But yet, it hurts badly other times when you aren’t able to speak with your close friends. But it’s different now. Ever since the game finished, the world has been on a maniac rush and ripped your friends out of your grip. Such bad things happened in the game, some you never want to think or hear about again. And all of you were so nervous and scared; you never contacted one another EVER again. It’s hard. It’s hard and nobody understands. Growing up also adds the torn up picture of your friends and life. On the hemospecrtum, it’s really impossible to be even near someone relatively close in color. You now Karkat’s going to run-away at some point, and Eridan will probably go out to sea, and others like Nepeta and Vriska will get jobs in the Imperial City before heading off somewhere else. And you’ll never see them again. It’s hard to believe it’s been almost two sweeps since you last contacted anyone. Or even seen anyone.

Rhymes echo in your head that your lusus would sing to you-  
Hush now little one and don’t you cry  
Set you head down and I’ll sing a lullaby  
In the morning you’ll be good  
And just like you always should  
Happy dreams where you can fly  
And where you will never, ever cry  
Orange sunsets, with nights that are blue  
And all the little fairytales that you knew  
You end up on the verge of tears in remembrance of the song. Now your lusus is dead, but you’ve never ceased mourning for him, and how he managed to cheer you up all the time. How he read Pupa Pan Stories with you and was the kindest soul you’ve ever met. That’s probably because you didn’t know too many people or that many weren’t nice to you. But you were never one that made friends easy too. Guess that’s the way life goes. Sunbeams faintly gleam off the frost that’s gathered on ferns, sparkling brightly it hurts your eyes a little. You shouldn’t be up at this time. You don’t think anyone is. You are nocturnal like your entire race, yet sleep never comes easy (that and you can’t fit your horns in your coon). You’re farther than you’ve ever been now. That doesn’t matter, you don’t care, and you prefer the outdoors. It feels as if an urging feeling has pulled you, an invisible path guiding you like a soft breeze. The season is cold, shadowed and hollow, filled with the dark mutterings of animals. A northern chill wisped through the dense clouds, brittle trees of forest, and thickets of brambles that lay tangled on the ground. You were always wary of catching your feet on them. It’s really, really cold, but you shrug it off like a sweater and continue through, stepping carefully. Your robotic legs creak loudly, making you flinch every time they click and groan due to the freeze getting to its gears. The forest is ending and meeting at rocky terrain, the part that you’ve never traveled on. You nearly fall as the surface changes underneath you. A little higher you can make out the openings of caves, their stalagmites pointed downward like teeth. The light gives it a sheen that turns the dull rock to pretty silver, an overcoat wet with rain dappling the tops of the boulders. The last time you were up here was when you were little, and you can’t recall anything very well. You make your way, uneasy and not steady on the foreign ground. The little urge has grown into a must and you force yourself up the rocky path. It’s littered with greens like the forest, but less abundant. White like flowers seem to blossom from the crevices of everything and you suspect it must be some kind of beautiful weed. Its vines twirl and root onto every pebble and stone, up the gaping mouth of a large cave and down the side of various cliffs. Few trees line the side of the cave, and for an odd reason, heat seems to be seeping from the cavern. You peek into it closely and…  
Oh. You fall back with realization, but too late, a huge white beast has pounced from the entrance with a snarl. He corners you, because you were an idiot and had to back away and not find an actual escape. His wide blank eyes are furrowed and his two curved mouths are drawn back, whiskers twitching as he glowers at you. The meow-beast hisses at you, revealing his three-inch fangs, matching the size of his claws. His pure white fur matches the snow that is turning to an ugly slushy on the ground. Your animal powers seem to have sputtered out in fear and you can’t help but show how terrified you are. This was such a bad idea, why did you leave your hive? But as he goes to spring he freezes and his bristling fur flattens almost immediately. You don’t know why he stopped, but then you turn to another figure, and this one has yellow eyes that seem to illuminate in the dark.  
She approaches you with a fanged smile, her claws unsheathed and ready to strike.  
~  
What you didn’t expect was her arms wrapped around you in a tight hug. This troll wraps her lanky arms around your neck and practically pounces on you. Her claws retract, and her fangs widen to a scary, but friendly, grin. You almost don’t recognize her because her hair is a little longer; swooping down to curl a little below her shoulders, and her hair is not covered by a kitty-cat hat.  
“It’s been fur-ever!”  
Her voice has gone down a tiny bit, just making her sound older. Her yellow eyes are tinted and speckled with pretty pale-shades of green. Olive, moss, grass, leaf, they resemble the colors of the ferns out here. Freckles spot her cheeks lightly around her eyes and a spray across her nose. Its hard to comprehend being with another being. You haven’t talked to anyone since the game. That’s been over two sweeps like you mentioned before. She has changed, but you can tell that this rouge still is the same in heart. Her once long jacket that draped down to the ground are gone and now a shorter jacket, but still has a tail that flicks back and forth like a real thing. It must be robotic like your legs.  
“Tavros?”  
You start from your daze and look at her once more.  
“S-Sorry. Nepeta, it’s great to see you again, really.”  
Her face lights up like a flaming candle. “You too! It feels like sweeps.”  
That is actually a fact, because it has been sweeps since you last saw each other.  
“Yeah. It does.” You mutter, and she watches you warily.  
She’s let go of your neck and has one arm wrapped around your shoulders, sitting you down on a rock with more strength than you thought she could possess. Probably practice from her strong morial, Equius.  
“What brings you to the mountains?”  
You shrug quietly, “I don’t know, I was just making my way up here.”  
Nepeta and you had actually been close friend because you spent time together when you both died. She was so sweet and considerate, other than trolls like Vriska or Eridan, who couldn’t care less about a low-blood with disability like you. You two had spent countless hours, days, months together, sitting on the top of buildings of either Prospit or Derse and joke around. She had been your role-play friend too, just like Terezi and Aradia. When you both died, you were able to be free without any weights to press down on your shoulders. Even though you both did have your share of crying fits. She was there for you. You were there for her. You both dreamed of a city where all were equal and had no worries in the world. Where you could fly like Pupa Pan and act like a meow-beast if you wanted. The hemospectrum wouldn’t separate individuals and disabilities wouldn’t be looked down upon. Everyone could be friends. Of course this is faker than anything, but you’re pretty sure other trolls would like that city too. It would wind trolls of different blood-color together, strung in harmony like a soothing song. Like a lullaby.  
“Tavros.”  
Her hands are shaking your shoulders. That’s the second time you’ve done that, geez, what does that look like to her? She must think you’ve lost it.  
“Sorry Nepeta, I just am-“  
“Having a hard time? Yeah, I can understand that.” She cuts in and finishes your words. This must be hard.  
“You have it rough too?” You ask, leaning on her like she is leaning on you. Of course it is what a dumb question. Being torn from your friends by a life-threatening game isn’t going to wear off to soon, even if it has been a few sweeps.  
“You have no idea.” She grumbles, taking your hand in hers. She’s just stressed out, and you are too. It’s not a big deal; she’s just holding your hand, calm down. You fight off the blush warming your cheeks and watch the horizon. It’s close to daytime; you’ll have to find shelter. A white glimpse catches your eye, and the white beast from earlier comes into view. You recall that this is Pounce de Leon, her meow-beast lusus, his perked ears tilted at you, blank eyes observing you in a vigilant manner. Of course, lucsi are always protective of their trolls, and being part cat, Pounce was very protective of Nepeta. He lightly bounds over on his toes and places his head in her lap where she pets him gently, and he purrs twice as much since he has two mouths.  
“Have you talked to anyone since…?” She trail off, she looks into your own chocolate-gray eyes, and you know that she is referring to the game.  
“No.” You say, and her eyebrows curve up in a question.  
“Nobody?”  
“Nobody.”  
“Why not?” She takes her hand from her lusus and begins playing with your Mohawk.  
“I just…I don’t know. If they really cared I felt that they would’ve contacted me,” She stops and you wonder if you hurt her in any way, making you continue nervously, “N-Not that I’m saying YOU didn’t I’m just-“  
A claw-tipped finger places on your mouth and shuts you up. Her eyes glint in the rising brightness and you see the green of tears brimming on her eyelashes.  
“I thought you were dead.”  
Wait, she thought what? She notices that you’ve stiffened and pulls away, looking frightened and nervous. Was that really what she thought? Is that what everyone thought? No, they couldn’t…why would they. Wait, oh no, it was because of the Imperial City. You have a disability, and when the time comes, they will cull you and you can never be a part of society again. They thought they killed you. They thought that had already happened. Oh. No.  
“No. Oh God, Nepeta, no. I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize that.” A tear falls down her cheeks, she barely holding herself together. She’s falling in pieces.  
“Look, Nep, look at me. I’m not dead.” You grip her hand, and she stares at them for about a minute. She’s recovering, but you know this isn’t the end of this talk. But you don’t think either of you want to talk about it. She is about to say something, but then winces and looks at the sky. Its daytime. With a hiss, still gripping your hand, Nepeta drags you into her cave and through the shadows. It almost feels reliving, the heat of the light outside suddenly gone, your warm-blooded skin heating up faster than most. You’re glad it’s cooler in here.  
“Sorry, Tavros didn’t mean to startle you.”  
The walls of her caves are painted with beautiful landscapes, realistic meow-beasts and of course, her classic ships, though they are probably much, much older. Her floor is littered with drawing materials; in the corner is a large plush-velvet bed for Pounce to sleep. Nepeta come to your side where you conveniently fell onto her couch. She leans against you like before.  
“Are you going to the Imperial City?”  
You slump on the arm-rest and sigh tiredly, your eyes burning from lack of sleep. Oh well, you like to stay up.  
“I can’t be sure, but if I do anything else, they’ll get me.”  
Nepeta sniffs with a look of distaste, not toward you, but at the drones that would kill you.  
“You could always go with Karkat, you know?” You can tell she doesn’t want you to run away, but it may be a better option than surrendering. Pupa Pan would always go down with a fight rather than run away with no struggle. At least you’d be remembered for your sacrifice. Yet again you two have settled on a topic that leaves you both miserable and hurting, mixed feeling and shrouded futures.  
It almost felt endearing that she cared. But how long would it take for her to forget? But she had believed you were dead for the past few sweeps, so you couldn’t be judging.  
“I’d run away with you.”  
“What?”  
“I’d run away with you. I’d want to be with you.” She repeats and waits for your reaction. Was that supposed to be hinting something? Did Nepeta…really care for you. Did she love you? Or were you just taking it further than it needed to be?  
“Really?” You realize you would like to be with her, and it didn’t matter what circumstances. Maybe you loved her. Maybe she loved you. Maybe these feelings inside you are true. You’ve come to the fact that YOU really had missed her over the time. Of everyone, she was the one you wanted by your side. When you sat awake for hours and couldn’t sleep, it was your love and heartbreak that hadn’t gotten through. They stayed behind you stupid little protective shield that guarded your emotions from the real life.  
“Yeah, really.” And she kisses you on the cheek. Your heart pounds and you meet her with a kiss too. This is because you hated reality and you wanted to live in your own role-play world that you could be yourself. You spent half the session of the Game sleeping because you loved dreaming and fantasy worlds. Your own little lullaby world that would sink you down to peacefulness of a song. You wonder if Nepeta had her own little lullaby world too.


End file.
